Hitch

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Last week I was able to watch again "Hitch", for me it was a good movie. Stress reliever and it made me smile for the day. I was so amaze with the tips given by hitch there that I researched the memorable quotes on the movie. Good thing IMDB website has it all in one compact piece. Maybe I do have a bias opinion, cause I'm a big fan of will smith.

oh by the way.. if you don't know how to dance.. as in-TINGTING-TIGAS ka kung sumayaw.. better watch hitch.. The basics of simple dancing is thought. Para sa susunod hindi kana mahihiyang sumayaw at hindi kanarin baduy sumayaw..ehehe..

enjoy..XD
 
color coding : Cheesy Red - my favorites.
             Blue Bacon - somehow true.

Memorable quotes for Hitch (2005)

Hitch: Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away.
 
:: Sometimes doing something wrong is neccessary to do something good. ::
-- kaya nga nainvent ang words na necessary evil, white lies and the quote "the end justifies the means." see sample below..
Sara: What should we toast to? 
Hitch: Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away. 

Hitch: Any guy can sweep any girl off her feet, he just needs the right broom. 

Vance: [after telling Hitch that he only wants a girl so he can sleep with her] No, I was told that you help guys get in there. 
Hitch: Right, but see, here's the thing - my clients actually *like* women. "Hit it and quit it" is not my thing. 
Vance: Let me make one thing clear to you, rabbi, I need professional help. 
Hitch: Well, *that* is for damn certain. 

Vance: [grabs Hitch by the wrist] You see what I'm doing? This is what I'm about - power suit, power tie, power steering. People can wince, cry, beg, but eventually they do what I want. 
Hitch: Oh! So that's, like, a metaphor? 
Vance: Oh, yeah. 
Hitch: Right. Well, see, I'm more of a literal kind of guy. So when I do this... 
[he reverses the grip, twists Vance's arm back and slams him on the table] 
Hitch: This is more like me saying that I will literally *break your shit off* if you ever touch me again. Okay, pumpkin? 

[first lines]  TRUE..
Hitch: Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly "Try harder, stupid," but which one is it? 60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person! She doesn't want to hurt your feelings! What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you... yet. Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic Principles - no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom. 

Hitch: [Hitch showed Sara where her great-great-grandfather Juan signed into Ellis Island, and she ran out the door crying] I'm really sorry. When I saw him on the computer, it said "The Butcher of Cadíz." I thought it was a profession, not a headline. 

Sara: Relationships are for people who are waiting for something better to come along. 

Hitch: One dance, one look, one kiss, that's all we get, Albert. Just... one shot, to make the difference between happily ever after, and oh? he's just some guy I went to some thing with once. 
 
Hitch: [Struggling to speak with Sara through her peephole, explaining why he pauses] ... This is weird - I don't have me behind the door. 

Albert: You know, honestly, I never knew I could feel like this. You know? I swear I'm, I'm going out of my mind. It's like I want to throw myself off of every building in New York. I, I see a cab and I just wanna dive in front of it because then I'll stop thinking about her. 
Hitch: Look, you will. Just give it time. 
Albert: That's just it. I don't want to. I mean, I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable. I mean, and if this is the only way I can stay connected with her, then... well, this is who I have to be.

Sara: So, you kinda like me, huh? 
Hitch: No. I love you. 

Hitch: So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows... but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them. 

:: Nice Tip ::
Hitch: Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back, say it in her ear like a secret. But watch your hand placement, too high says, 'I just wanna be friends,' too low says, 'I just wanna grab some ass.' 
Albert: [making holding gestures at different levels] Okay... Friends. Ass. Me. 

Hitch: Because that's what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly, because otherwise you just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the *hell* did I jump? But here I am, Sarah, falling, and the only one that makes me feel like I can fly... is you. 

[last lines] 
Hitch: Basic principles... there are none. 

Albert: You know what it's like getting up every morning? Feeling hopeless, feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man. But, at the same time hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it's never going to be with you. 

Sara: [on her cell phone talking to Geoff, on her way to work] Did I call it or did I call it? I mean, what did I say, six months? And when was her first date? So five-and-a-half? God, I hate it when I'm right. I mean, what is it about guys that makes them want to screw anything that walks, even when they're going out with someone as awesome as Allegra Cole? I mean, she's only the single most fabulous thing walking around New York. Thanks Young 
[to guy working at newsstand] 
Sara: . Are you kidding? Of course I'm gonna run it. Why should she waste her heart on some Swedish aristo-brat? Even if he is gorgeous. Hey, if he's stupid enough to cheat then the world should know he's dumb enough to get caught. 

[Unimpressed with Albert's dance moves, Hitch pauses the music and slaps him across the face] 
Hitch: Get out.
 
Hitch: Like I always tell my clients - begin each day as if it were on purpose. 

Sara: Oh, God. You're a morning person, aren't you? 
Hitch: Well, you know, like I always tell my clients, "Begin each day as if it were on purpose." 

Hitch: Now, on the one hand, it is very difficult for a man to even speak to someone who looks like you. But, on the other hand, should that be your problem? 
Sara: So life's kind of hard all around. 
Hitch: Not if you pay attention. I mean, you're sending all the right signals - no earrings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back, you're wearing reading glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose martini, which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn't do it. And if that wasn't clear enough, there's always the "fuck off" sign that you have stamped on your forehead. 

[Albert is holding a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts] 
Hitch: What you got there? 
Albert: This? I figured maybe if my heart stops beating, it wouldn't hurt so much. 

Hitch: [talking about when kissing going 90 per cent then he goes 10] All right show me the magic. 
Albert: OK. 
[going to kiss Hitch] 
Hitch: [after being kissed] What the hell? 
Albert: Well, you said show me the magic 
Hitch: Yeah, but you go 90 then I go 10. You don't go the whole hundred, you over-eager son of a... BLECH! 

Albert: [showing Hitch his dance moves] Do the Q-tip! Q-tip! Now throw it away! Now what am I doing? I'm makin a pizza! 

Hitch: I'm a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time? 

Max: Spoken like a true cynic. 
Sara: I'm not a cynic, I'm a realist! 
Max: Or a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist. 

Hitch: No guile, no game... No girl 

Hitch: [as Sara walks the drunk Hitch thru the park] I'm like a vault baby, locked down!
 
Sara: What's your name? 
Chip: They call me Chip. 
Sara: Aw, you can't get 'em to stop? 

Hitch: Heard of Michelangelo? Heard of the Sistine Chapel? 
Albert: Yeah? 
[Points at himself] 
Hitch: Michelangelo. 
[Points at Albert] 
Hitch: Sistine Chapel. 
Albert: So you're saying you can make this work? 
Hitch: My name is Alex Hitchens. Let's go paint that ceiling.
 
Hitch: When your wondering what to say, or how you look... just remember... she is already out with you. That means, she said yes, when she could've said no. That means she made a plan... when she could've just blown you off. So that means it is no longer you job to make her like you... It’s is your job NOT TO MESS IT UP. 

Max: There is more to life than to watch other people live it. 

:: I like this part, ganda ng diskarte ni hitch dito..ehhehe.. ::

Chip: [talking to Sara as he puts a drink on the table] I noticed your glass was getting a little low so I took the liberty of bringing you another apple martini. 
Sara: Thank you. 
Chip: And I couldn't help but notice... you look a lot like my next girlfriend. 
Sara: [as she puts her drink down] What's your name? 
Chip: They call me Chip. 
Sara: Awww... you can't get them to stop? 
Chip: [laughs] That was funny. 
Sara: Listen Chip, I understand the courage it takes to walk across a room and try to generate a relationship out of thin air so don't take the following personally... 
Chip: You have fantastic eyes. 
Sara: [chuckles] Thanks, try to listen. I... uh this is no reflection on you, I'm just not interested. But thank you for the compliment of coming over. 
Chip: You're welcome. So do you like Cuban food? 
Sara: Chip seriously, that wasn't code for "I wish you'd try harder". 
Chip: Are you always so shut down, and afraid? That the right man might make you feel... 
Hitch: [interrupting Chip and puts a hand on his shoulder] ... Feel like a natural woman? 
[laughs] 
Hitch: Sorry I'm late hunny I couldn't get a cab. How was the meeting? 
Sara: Oooh... well there was a beginning a middle and an end. Nice to meet you Chip. 
Chip: [stands up to walk away] You too. 

Hitch: [to Albert] I need you to wrap your head around this. Tonight, Allegra Cole may get her *last* first kiss. 
[pause] 
Hitch: [Albert uses his asthma inhaler] 

Hitch: Because thats what people do... they leap and hope to God they can fly! Because otherwise, we just drop like a rock... wondering the whole way down..."why in the hell did I jump?" But here I am Sarah, falling. And there's only one person that makes me feel like I can fly... That's you. 

[source] :: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0386588/quotes

UP Professors' Quotable Quotes

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Disclaimer : Di ako taga UP..pero taga pilipinas ako.. at mahal ko ang bayan ko.. does that make sense? XD

Credits to FAS operator Brahma

"The aim of policy making is to invoke action! Because action speaks
louder than words! You do not just say I love you. You say: If you
love me, enter me! "
- Dr. Alfonso Pacquing

"Class, next week na lang ung result sa exam nyo. I am having a hard
time checking it. I will seek first the divine guidance on what to do
about it. Class dont worry about your grade. Let me worry about it."
- Sir de jesus, envi sci 1

(valentines day)
"Ano ba yan? Students ba kayo ng UP? Bakit ang bababa ng scores niyo?
Siguro wala kayong date ngayong valentines kaya ganito kayo. Losers!!!
When i was your age i had a date. Hindi ba naapektuhan ng UP FAIR
euphoria ng grades niyo? Parang di kayo masaya..."
(sabay matching tapon ng quizzes sa sahig)
"I won't record this. Go find a date."
(sabay walk out.)
- Sir Doliente, BA

Ma'am: Many people believe that we, psychology graduates can read minds...
(silence)
Actually, we can.
Class: Weh.. Sample..
Ma'am: Right now, you think that I'm bluffin
- Ma'am Chei Billedo, Psych

"I don't give surprise long exams. all exams are announced. Halimbawa,
Class, mageexam tayo, NGAYON NA!"
- Ma'am Chei

"The human body is 70% water. Kaya wala kayong kasaysayan lahat. Pag
may kaaway ka, sabihin mo sa kanya, TUBIG KA LANG!!!
- Dr. Recio

"Oo, nagpapaulan ako ng uno... baket? aanhin ko ba nun? di naman ako
yayaman dun."
- Sir Atoy Navarro, histo I

(commenting on a thesis of a senior student)
'Yang thesis mo? .. Mamamatay ka!! Mamamatay ka!!'
- Dr. llanes, UPM.

"Nasa bandang gilid ang fallopian tube. Kaya kung gusto niyong
magka-anak ng asawa niyo, dapat nakatagilid kayo habang gumagawa."
- Ma'am Meggie, Zoo 10

"Last sem was the first time that I gave a grade of 5, and it felt good!!!"
Prof Goldie, Comm II, circa 1998, first day of class

atheist ako, pero pag nasa bahay, nagro rosary kami ng Nanay ko, eh
kung magalit sa kin yun.
- Socio 11 Prof

"you do not fall in love; you rise in love. That's how you love rationally."
- Dr. FG david

"Try to die! Try to die!"
- sir billones, on a student who is palpitating while taking the exam.
He claims that after incident refreshed na lagi yung estudyante. If I
know, pag naaalala ng estudyanteng yun yung moment na yun, kaya siya
laging refreshed, kasi natatawa siya pag naaalala niya iyon.

"Anong molars? You don't say molars because it is an adjective! Do you
say beautifuls?"
- ma'am ilao, to a student who said "n molars"

"Kahit magpakamatay ka pa di mo masasagot yang problem set na yan
dahil pang-157 (phy chem II) yan!"
- ibid

"Do not memorize! Analyze!"
- doc nic, advising us, her students never to memorize reaction mechanisms

"Kaya nga ideal eh, hindi siya nangyayari sa totoong buhay. Pero an
approximation is good enough"
- sir engle, on ideal and real systems

"Don't take the BAR and yourselves too seriously. baka mabalitaan
nalang namin na nag-o-oral summation kayo sa Luneta. O
lumulutang-lutang sa Pasig River. Enjoy yourselves, relax, and read at
least 15 hours a day. Nakakabobo ang sobrang tulog. MAg relax ka
habang nagbabasa. Magrelax habang nagmi-memorize. "

"Pag nananaba ka sa oras ng exams, ibig sabihin di ka papasa."

"Oh the BAR isn't scary. It's terrifying. It might even kill you."

and the unforgettable: "Wow. Rape-able." and "Stand up Miss ___ so
that I might see the contours of your body."

alternately encouraging and disheartening ang drama nitong prof na'to.

Ito naman from our Prof. Ancient:
"Mga engineers? Nako. Bihira pumapasa sa BAR."

"UP ka nag-undergrad? Bright ka ba?"

"Sa mga taga-UP lang ako bilib eh. Pagpasok nila sa lawschool, hindi
sila disoriented. Bilib ako sa study habits na meron yang mga batang
yan. Some of them look like they eat kamote thrice a day, pero ang
utak, di ututin!" (ewan ko kung matutuwa ako dito o hindi)

sabi ng aming dean who is 80 yrs old, "class you're laughing now, but
i will predecease you all"

prof: O, meron na bang nakapunta sa inyong XXX
class: (tahimik)
prof: (medyo nadisappoint) Ano?! Puro na lang ba kayo aral? Aral na
lang kayo ng aral, ha? Wala na kayong napupuntahan kakaaral niyo!

same prof: Nakita niyo na ba ang Hoover dam?
class: (tahimik uli)
prof: Hehehehe, ang yabang ko talaga!

Second day of classes
Same Prof: (kinuha ang box ng colored chalks) Ano ba naman ito...
(tapos iniitsa sa lamesa yung mga dark colored chalks)
class: (tahimik na nagmamasid)
Prof: Class, sulatan niyo ang manufacturer ng chalk na ito, at
sabihing tanggalin na ang mga walang kwentang kulay na ito.... brown,
green, violet. hindi makikita ito sa board. Convince them
class: (tahimik at gulat)
Prof: and .25 incentive sa final grade niyo!

terror prof after an exam (last day na din ng class..): ok class.. see
you next sem!

"Ateneo is not a university, it's a diploma mill. Bakit ba nakangiti
pa mga estudyante dyan kapag lalabas sila ng gate nila, hindi ba nila
nalalaman ang nami-miss nila sa edukasyon?"

"The more wisdom you obtain, the more you shut your mouth. This is
because the more that you learn, the more you realize that there are
even more things that you do not know. The true mark of an idiot is a
loudmouth, the true mark of a wise man is humility"
- Paraphrased galing kay PI100.

"IE? Di naman engineering yun e"
-Thesis adviser

Classmate: Ma'am, pwede po bang next week na kami mag report?
Ma'am: Alam mo, God is good. And I am God. So yes, pwede next week.

galing kay sir U eliserio during creative writing class...
"try everything once except incest"

and one day pumasok ng room, galit na galit. hinagis ang bag sa table,
nagwawala sa harap ng room dahil hindi daw nasagot ng previous class
niya ang question niya. kaya dapat daw masagot namin, ang makasagot
may plus points. kapag walang makasagot, lagot kami. ang tanong....
"class, sinong lalaking artista dun sa TV show na wonder years"?

"Mamatay na mangopya..."
saka
"Ang hindi maka-100, bobo!".

"im gay. so gay i could show you my penis because it is but an
accessory to my body"
- jean navera, spcm1

FIRST DAY OF CLASSES: "Kung may boyfriend o girlfriend kayo na hindi
taga-UP, hiwalayan niyo na agad. Walang pupuntahan yan. Hindi kayo
magkaka-intindihan. Tapos yung mga anak niyo, magiging bobo. Gusto
niyo ba yun?"

ANOTHER PROF: "Hoy girls, wag kayong kukuha ng boyfriend dito sa UP.
Pare-parehas tayong mahirap dito. Kumuha kayo ng mayaman. 80% of the
child's intelligence comes from the Mother naman eh. Kayo guys, wag
kayo kukuha ng bobong babae. Kahit matalino kayo, magiging bobo anak
niyo."

"Class, Chinatown is not in China. And Ateneo de Manila University is
not... a university."

STUDENT: Sir, pwede po magpa-sit in yung friends ko?
PROF: From what school are they?
STUDENT: St. Scho po.
PROF: "Go ahead. So they'll realize what they're missing. St. Scho,
St. Scho... eskwelahan na ba yun sa inyo?!"

sa PHILO:
"I THINK THEREFORE I AM FROM UP!"

"Class, kaya mahal ang bayad sa mga professors sa ibang school kasi
ang bobobo ng mga estudyante dun. Dyuskoh, I used to teach there... at
lumuluha talaga ako ng dugo bago maintindihan ng mga students yung
sinasabi ko. Ang mahal nga ng bayad, magkakasakit ka naman sa panga
kakaulit ng lessons! Wag na lang! Dito na ko sa UP, at least
nagkakaintindihan tayo. Diba?"

Dahil kami ang mga huling estudyante ni Dr. David at mahal na mahal
namin siya, nag-compile kami dati ng mga quotable quotes mula sa
kanya. Ito ang ilan:
"Meanings we find are the meanings we make."
"WHAT YOU LEARN IN UP IS TO GO ON AND NEVER GIVE UP. THAT IF THERE BE
ONE PERSON LEFT STANDING, LET IT BE ME. LET ATENEO FALL FIRST BEFORE
UP..."
"The measure of a man is how many doors he has opened to other people,
especially to those he doesn't know."
"To be born is to die. In between they grow and multiply like flies.
6.2 billion people in the world. Kadiri, ano?"
"Why not life? Why call it soul? Call a spade a spade."
"Earth is the only heaven we can know."
"religion is a successful economic institution"
"Do not live long enough to be worthless."
"Domestication of the human male is one of the greatest achievement of
the human race."
"I do not know many. I only know enough to teach my classes."

"We do not accept anyone here in class except for those who are
members of a certain minority group. For example, gays are part of a
minority group, bakla ka ba? If you admit to this class that you are
gay, then I'll admit you"
- Prof "hail to the chair", to a guy student na nagpre-prerog

"kapatid ng sinungaling ang magnanakaw.
"ergo, gma's marriage to mike arroyo is null and void ab initio."
consti law class, 1st sem, AY 2005-06

"running for summa ka? mapapagod ka lang."

"Si Miriam, crush ko 'yun dati. Muntikan na maging kami, kaso nasiraan
ng ulo, kaya 'yun, iba ang asawa ko."

"Class, gusto ko kayong i-train na mag-English, so when you're here in
class, magsalita kayo ng English! Ako lang ang exempted dahil matanda
na ako at ako ang teacher!"

Ma'am Vitriolo (2nd to the last meeting)
Okay class, next week, we start the lecture proper.

more of Ma'am Ilao
"Hindi mahirap makakuha ng UNO sa class ko. yung gumradweeeyt last
year na Magna Cum Laude ng Biochem, uno siya sakin sa Chem 18"

Sabi ng Prof ko dahil may kaklase akong recite ng recite w/o raising her hand
"I think this is the first time i have a student w/ tourette in my class..."
Recite parin ng recite yung student
"Wow the ejaculatory comments just don't stop!"

from my socsci1 prof last sem: "Birds of the same feather FLOCK
together...don' t forget the L".

"I'll strangle you, strangle you really hard, smack right in your
jugular (pause ng mga 5 seconds), you do know where your jugular is?"

"Be ready with your speech because I am going to lambaste you!"
-namutla nalang yung classmate kong freshie after hearing sir navera
sa spcm 1 namin

'bakit parang napakaligaya ng klase niyo? maging sad naman kayo, 5
mins.' - prof ko sa math 100.

"well of course when you sell your soul you have to make an elaborate
justification to make yourself feel good."
-Sir Walden Bello, Socio 127, this sem
^grabe ang galing ni sir bello. nakakaamaze.

"ano bang natapos mo? italian 8?"

"punyetissima! " (sosyal pati mura italian!)

"look at me i'm 433 years old pero ang lakas lakas ko pa. eh kung
walang gulay eh di kakain na lang ako ng damo. kung wala eh di tubig,
kung wala mag-ipon na lang ako ng laway."
-Sir Tiamson, Italian 11, this sem

When you graduate, then you begin to live.
-Dr. Carmen Jimenez, Psych 118

from Prof Soresca in my spanish 1 class
Prof:"Mr. Gatbunton, why are you late?!"
Student:"Sorry Mam, galing pa ako Las Pinas."
Prof: "Ladies, don't marry somebody from Las Pinas because they have
bamboo organs!!"

"there are only two countries who still use Fahrenheit.. the United
States of America and Liberia... a pathetic country in africa"
- Sir Argete

Marx is more Christian than Christ and Christ is more Marxist than Marx.
- Sir Lanuza.

May kaklase ako, may jowang taga Ateneo
"Ateneo? How could you love someone from the Ateneo? "

sa geol11, ayaw mag-recite ng mga classmates ko..
sabi ni ma'am cathy
"wag na mahiya, you have nothing to lose but your face.."

si sir agapito..habang 2nd exam at malakas ang ulan..
"ang lakas ng ulan, ayos yan at least hindi halata pag umiiyak.."

Class: Sir, sa exams po ba nagbibigay kayo ng partial points?
Prof: Hmm, if I see partial wisdom.

"It's okay to smoke inside my class. As long as you don't breathe it
out." -Dr. Obsioma, Biodiversity

"Oh, this is good. It's poetic because it's perfectly stupid." -
Ricardo de Ungria last week on my classmate's work.

Prof: Did I remind the class last meeting that we're going to have an
exam today?
Class: (dead air)
Prof: Ok, it seems I forgot to remind the class that we're going to
have an exam today. I'm giving you five minutes then to buy a
bluebook. We're going to have an exam today.

sir tiamson (span 11)
"ayan, di ka makasagot. yung bakal sa ngipin mo naapektuhan na yung
pagsasalita mo"