How To Recruit The Right Person For The Job?

Credits to Airsofter Demonfire.

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks.
Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them...
Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces.
Put them in information technology.

If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved.
Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day.
Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the window.
Put them on strategic planning.

At last but not least.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.
Congratulate them and put them in top management.

Golden Phone In Churches

A man in Topeka , Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the world. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes.

He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read 'Calls: $10,000 a minute' Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to GOD.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Paris , France , Cairo , Egypt , Hong Kong in China , and around the World , he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Philippines, upon entering a church ln Manila, Philippines, Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary Catholic Church, behold - he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read 'Calls: 35 cents.'

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the Priest, 'Father Ricardo Baumberger, I have been in cities all across the world and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to GOD, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. Why?'

I love this part.....

The priest, smiling benignly, replied, 'Son, you're in the Philippines now ....... You're in God's Country, It's a local call.'

Philippine Military Modernization Fund

PGMA ordered that the Phil Military Modernization Fund be activated and used to purchase "New Jet Fighter Planes" to replace the aging "F5 Flying Coffines" and "OV-10 Bronco Vietnam Relics" of the Phil Airforce. She said that Upgrading our military is the best move towards a strong republic!

After months of goverment lobbying to various Arms dealers around the globe.The Phil Airforce has procurred and "IS" now a proud owner of 10 brandnew "McDonell Douglas F15 Eagle" and armed w/ AIM-120 AM-RAAM and AIM-9 Sidewinders.

The Press was happy about new toys the gov't bought and she asked her Generals if We could test its capabilities in war?Her Generals said, Yes madam Press it is possible we can test it if we where on war w/ another nation!

And so the PGMA was on the phone trying to call other head of states around the world choosing Who to be at war with...

PGMA: Hello Vladimir Putin! how many jet planes do you have? Putin: Madam,we have 500 Migs and 100 Migs on reserve!Why are you asking? PGMA: (syet ang dami)Nothing just asking.Good bye!

dailed the phone again....

PGMA: Hello George! How many jet planes do you have? George Bush: Madam we have 1000 F22 Raptors and 500 on reserve!Why are you asking? PGMA: (syet mas madami)Nothing just asking.Goodbye!

PGMA is now growing impatient and is eager to test the new planes then she dialed the phone again....

PGMA:Hello Prime Minister Fukuda!How many jet fighters do you have? PM Fukuda:Well madam President at this moment we only have 5! PGMA: is that so(syet lima lang chamba)!OK PM Fukuda I declare war on your country be prepared. PM Fukuda:Why? PGMA:I dont give a sh!t!

....PGMA ordered the Phil Air Force to invade Japan and destroy all targets w/ high value. As the F15 pinoy pilots aproaches japaneese airspace then suddenly the wing leader shouted on the radio.....

Pinoy Pilot: P!"£$% !n@ Retreat! Retreat!

The Pinoy pilot's were debriefed at Villamor airbase together with PGMA.

PGMA : Ba't Kayo Umatras? Pinoy Pilot : Eh maam, nung pasugod na kame, biglang may sumigaw 'LET'S VOLT IN!!!'....

Credits to me and Gundoc

Talking my pride and joy

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave
his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons...What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
The three friends said: "What a shame... what a disappointment."
The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago,
and he received:

a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion;
a brand new jet; and
a top of the line Mercedes
from his three boyfriends."

Origins of the song Eternal Flame

I'm not in the mood..sobrang pagod..kaya medyo sobrang corny ng share ko for today... Offnight ika nga...

BULAG: close your eyes.
PILAY: Give me your hand, darling
BINGI: do you hear my heart beating
BOBO: do you understand?
MANHID: do you feel the same?
DUKHA: Am I only dreaming?
BOMBERO: is this burning? An eternal flame!
PIPI: say my name.
BALIW: sunshine through the rain
KAWAWA: my whole life, so lonely.
DOKTOR: they'll come and ease the pain.
MARAMOT: i don't wanna lose this feeling.
WOLF: Ohhhh....

Sensya jologs...